failure for finals

I think I didn't handle the whole semester that well.
argh.. disappointments.. I may not be able to get an A on Math 150 because I fell asleep during important lectures. I missed the core concepts about that rational thinggy. :(( I was getting an A this whole semester and suddenly, I flunked a test! now, I have to study! argh..

English 103? I'm doing alright. Except for my missed quizzes because I was always late and the quizzes were the first thing we do. so.. I think I missed 80% of those. But I'm doing totally good. I need to know what to write during the finals.

Harmony 201! compose.. compose.. compose.. okay I need to knock on the artist's door.

Jazz combo will be a transcription on a solo. yikes. okay I need to work on that one on Monday.

My gig week:

Monday - song-writing showcase
Tuesday - Bass jury
Wednesday - Pop/Rock II Christmas gig then Salsa band applied music
Thursday - Jazz Combo applied music
Friday - SM Club gig

My gig yesterday was fun! I played at 2nd street jazz with SM Club. hahaha all girls band. Marco wasn't there though :( it's okay. He had a paying gig the same night. Jonathan gave the whole band roses! how cute.





I need to stop reading New Moon so I could concentrate on my finals! hehe




I hope I'll get all A's this semester.

To The World You Might Be One Person; But To One Person You Might Be the World.

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. ...

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"




The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....
Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"


More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....
But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....
This one wouldn't give up!





At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?


A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?
It turned out....
That the winner was DEAF!!!!




The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic. ... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.
Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:
ALWAYS be....
POSITIVE!

And above all:
Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think:
God and I can do this!



Most people walk in and out of your life......but FRIENDS leave footprints in your heart

beginnings

a new beginning came again.. end of summer semester and the start of fall semester 09/02/08..

so.. new goals are set! i will work as hard as i could.. wish me luck! i already set some goals on the months to come. and maybe in 2 years to come.. and I don't wanna be disappointed anymore!

I need to work hard now!

and.. 3 weeks ago I got a new job! at least for now! I might do a school job in 2 weeks though.. I hope I can get that work, being an usher.. hehehe. that's quite easy to do. now I have to do math 150 HW so..

chao for now :)

sunday

When I was younger, I've always thought of sunday as "sun" day.. haha..

I didn't start my day so great today.. :( and I woke up so late.. I ate my 1 sandwich lunch.. :( HUNGRY!! So at 3:15pm I went to church choir practice and I got there by 3:20.. 20 minutes late. haha not good.

One of my choirmates have a fund-raising car wash and she gave me a ticket! ..because one of the church people paid $20.. and he's not going so.. yey! thanks! :D

Sometimes, I get distracted when I play.. and that means screw up the bass lines. not so cool..

Watched T.V. a bit and entered some coke rewards points! yey! hehehe.. I have 132 points and I used 32 points to get a free pop corn at AMC Theatres hihihi..

When I picked up my mom, we got stuck on the road because there's a super slow train passing and it even stopped! Many people drove off.. one of those is me! wow.. talking about PATIENCE yesterday from "The Terminal" well.. what I did is not that bad.. and there's another way anyway..

When I got home again, I ate a donut, cleaned some trash and cords, watched news, Samurai X, and practice bass!

I really hope I get better on bass soon :(
I don't like it when I feel low about it :(

P.S. Tomorrow is bowing day! yey!

the beginning of August

July 31 - the end of summer session. whoohooow! I hope I got A's.

August 1 - stayed home and practiced sight reading a little.. I watched "The Terminal" during the small hours.. Technically, it's August 2. I love this movie.. It would be great to have that much patience.. I think that's the big lesson for us people. Patience is very important for us to succeed.. I need a lot of those.. sigh..

August 2 - stayed home and practiced funk bass and scales a little.. I watched parts of "Instinct" while I was eating lunch. Marco went to a wedding. I bet he looks so fancy! hehe.. I tried to dye my hair but it didn't came out quite as I would expect it to be..
still no job so far.. what a bum..
oh yea.. I lost my job after the finals week of spring semester and just after or while I got sick.. I'm still optimistic that I would find a job soon.. It has been a month though..

I watched "Lars and the Real Girl" during the wee hours too. (so technically, August 3 hehehe) Quite odd but I liked it. Shows how to love and care for one another. :)

church tomorrow afternoon and shows at night jijiji :)

I hope I get something out of August. LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! YEA!

"A journey of a thousand miles
must begin with a single step"
-Lao Tzu

I need to start something

I saw myself talking using a language I don't understand,
I felt that I don't belong here
but maybe I will be

letting go isn't that easy at all.
doesn't matter what it is about: love, life, trust..
it is not easy.

yes, again i didn't tell you how I feel.
I will though,
right timing, right moment,
we'll wait and everything will be connected.
I trust you just as much as you trust me.

For the one I love :)

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
U2

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?
I've still got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

my heart.

If You Were Here

How time flies.. almost been a month.. I haven't posted anything yet.. well.. I saw this thing I wrote and I saved it on my laptop.. I wrote this on June 28, 2008 and now, I'm just gonna post it:

To my soul-mate DD,

If you were here, I would share my dreams with you.
Tell you everything I think about;
Say the things I couldn't say;
Do the things I couldn't do.
With you, everything will be ok.

I love you and I miss you.

This morning, I remembered you.
How we were when we're together.
Drawing our dreams;
Jumping for joy;
What did I do to last without you by my side?

I love you and I miss you.

I looked back to the days where
happiness is not a struggle
and where laughter is free.
I trust you and you trust me.
You're the closest thing I got.

I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU

VL; Bib.

frustrations

frustrations

i always ask for happiness and sometimes i do find it.
but now, it came to me that my problem is not finding it;
but believe in it.
if i believe that i can find happiness then it will come to me
it doesn't matter how short or long it could be
but if i believe in it, it will come.
i have always been unhappy and frustrated
trying to find answers and realization
trying to understand how things will go
and fearing of something i don't know.
the future waits for me to do something, to move forward on.
i am getting frustrated because of myself
i expect too much but do nothing
i fear too much and i've gain nothing
i guess i was not ready to be mature so fast
having this mixed of new things confused me
changes are so fast and so as the time
i have my dreams before me though i am so afraid to look at it
i am insecure
mostly on myself
this thing caused me a lot of problems that i didn't notice until now.
i feared other people and questioned their loyalty.
now, i think i found my hope
and i know i don't want to ruin it.

thank you for everything.
i have been touched and loved.

flower on my ear

oh how time flies!

It's the end of the spring semester.. I'm getting a little stuck on college; while my friends in the Philippines are beginning their 3rd year in their own universities and maybe next year they'll be done with their studies? oh well.. I don't think about that very often lately, I just want to improve on my chosen path! :)

I know I could've done more with my studies and I'm guilty of that. Let's just try to resolve things out - even how hard it would be.

That's the flower on my ear! >>>>>>>

I have some issues here already. About school, I could've done better with my PolSci 103 class, but I didn't, hehe.. well.. I'm very proud of myself today! yey! on the final exam I got 24/25!! yey! well.. it's just easy but I studied for it so I'm proud of myself!! :)

oh how final week goes.. a lot of "finals" hehe.. math final - which is alright, polsci final - which is great! sight reading - is alright too.. harmony & musicianship.. is kinda alright too..

I got sick too! oh wow.. what I week.. need to take antibiotics and stuff like that.

But now, things are getting better! yey! I'm looking forward to a GOOD & PRODUCTIVE summer! happy happy summer! and everyday! :)

happIness

Today, I spent my day with Marco's family. hehehe.. his stepdad's birthday. It was a really fun day! (could've dont more hw's instead of blogging) but, above all it was a good day!

church @ 8am with Marco & his mom
breakfast
clean-up (watching a.n.t.m.)
eat bbq! (lunch)
go home - shower - rehearsal
go back to marco's house.. which is actually VERY close (as in a street away close)

then had some CAKE!!
talk..
played UNO hehe..
listen to music & watch videos of Miguel "Anga" Diaz (so GREAT conga player! awesome!)

said my goodbyes and thank you's :)


tomorrow will be a LOOOOOOOOONG day! above all, I hope everything will turn out great and I hope I could do all the things that are needed to be done.. TOMORROW!

(like.. 8 (1-page) papers due for political science, loooong math hw's, practice bass, read 2 chapters for political science, maybe work? maybe math hours? and hopefully, SEX & THE CITY MOVIE NIGHT!)

ciao! kisses & hugs! ;) :* >:D<

happyness

"The Pursuit Of Happyness"

I like this movie a lot! It inspired me want to pursue my happiness. It's very moving and such a struggle.

If that's what it takes to find happiness and I should be strong and hold on to my happiness!

...

I have been happy lately and I'm still hoping for more happy days to come! Summer is almost here.. time to study and practice! ..and beach, of course!

Life is too great to waste. <<< I should be thinking of that always. hehe..

Sweet dreams everyone!

notting hill

is a great movie!

I wanna watch it again.. I like some of the songs of the sound track as well..

awesome! awesome!

sweet :)

just because

People are flowing with questions everyday. What do I do? Why is it like this? Am I good enough? Does anyone care?

There are times that I just feel cynical about these kind of things. I know these periods of my life will just pass by, then I'll be happy again, and then it'll come back.

For now I don't understand "why" or if people are really true. I mean they tend to deceive other people sometimes; and it's annoying. They tell you things but you know they're not really sincere about it or they just say it because they feel that they have to or else you'll be left asking yourself "why?" again.

Sometimes, I feel neglected.
Sometimes, even if they say the right words, it doesn't feel genuine enough.
Sometimes, I just need sincerity from people.

I believe that sincerity, honesty is not gained by thinking "I think I need to say this" or "I think I need to do this."

So, the answer of insincerity is "why" and why? I don't know. At times, it pays to be not care and take the words.

Above anything else, if you feel that your odd days are continues, just find something (anything) to smile for.

Just like this.. at work, Herbert & I were painting and Herbert SPILLS his paint a lot, the paint looked really happy with it though. :)


Beyond my cynical day, I still appreciate this cute things that happens.. why? "just because."

ups & downs

Today, my boyfriend & I planned to go to the beach. While we we're going, we had an accident. It was horrific.

What happened is..
The traffic was not that good.. we were on the car pool lane and running fast (unlike everyone else is) so this truck guy suddenly crossed the double yellow lined car pool lane! we were shocked! we were running like 70-75mi/hr and this guy just cut in! came from the traffic, which is slow.

Anyway, it was a 3-car collision. The car in front of us managed to skid through the side of the truck and Marco tried his best braking.. I just closed my eyes and felt the seat belts really hard on my body.

Thank God, Everyone's OK.

To think, there's a kid on the car in front of us. Nothing happened to her :3

So, we didn't go to the beach anymore.. instead, went back to his house after his stepdad picked us up.. he was really nice :3 Met his grandma and she was nice too..

We ended up hanging out on the swimming pool. hehe.. then we ate.. then we took the bus to school :3

I'm still glad we still have each other and nothing bad happened to us.

well.. I got some bruises and back ache but it'll go away! so everybody happy now :)

:)

I hate you.

I hate you more.. with all my heart.



- - -

I don't know why it confuses me.. ?
"..I could never quite figure it out.." - orange and lemons


oh.. words.. words.. words.. how confusing could they be!


It's April fool's day (April 1) anyway; so maybe, that's why. <3

L-O-V-E

LOVE is bizarre. it's weird. it's odd. it's beautiful.

amour. liefde. liebe. αγάπη. amore. amor. irog. pag-ibig! <3

Vic Zhou MANIA

why do you have to be so cute??!?

his former hairstyle

I like them both




and yea.. don't give me the eyes!

waaaaaa.. @.@


SILENCE





aww..

meteor garden

I was just going to search an album picture of "Meteor Garden" for my iTunes but then I found myself searching for F4 pics again! hahaha! so yea.. I looked at their photos on google and you know how it goes.. under the pictures are the articles about the artists. I was surprised when I read that they're having a comeback!

F4 IS BACK!

F4.. is a Taiwanese boy band.. and I know I couldn't understand what they're saying.. BUT..

They're back! and hotter than ever! woah! oh yea.. oh yea.. I need to calm down. I sound like a nerd. hehehe

Vic Zhou..

my great crush. hahaha I'm so mesmerized with his look and his voice. haha I just wished I could understand what he's singing and saying.. he's the one with the red scarf and shirt.. ah.. how cute. he have big ears though. hahaha! eh.. still, he looks AHH-MA-ZING!

well what can I say.. all of them are cute.. Jerry Yan is second for me. (black&white print jacket) he's hot.

F4 - GOODBYE

I lost..

today was a happy day.. the normal day at school, playing music, etc.. until 6pm..

around 6pm (March 12,2008 Wednesday) U.S.A. - Mark & I went to get something to eat.. and then we got hit.. on the parking lot by an old lady backing up.. it wasn't that bad but it was shocking. The lady wasn't looking and so as Mark; I couldn't react so fast and was stuttering! and so when I shouted "MARK!" it was too late.. I closed my eyes so I didn't see how we crashed. Hayy.. and it crashed on the side where I was sitting at.. As I said IT WASN'T THAT BAD but still it was shocking.

I can't believe I was gonna say that I LOST SOMEONE..

maybe the crash was a sign.. for it happened at the same time..

10am (March 13, 2008 Thursday) Philippines - our family friend, their mother, tita Luz was gone today. It didn't hit me at first but of course I got sad instantly. After some hours of relaxing / contemplating / getting it out of my system / listening to music (preferably Original Philippine Music / O.P.M.) / watch movie (which I couldn't finish)..

IT HIT ME. SO BAD. And so I let my emotions stir and flow..

I'll miss her. She's like my second mom.


...
what makes it worse?

I couldn't send messages to the family.. I don't know what's up with the thing.





..and I have NOBODY! NO ONE TO TALK TO! HOW GREAT! isn't it?






and so this is life.

bakit wala na tayo?

directions: try to watch it at the same time (pause & play to do that) then you'll see the difference of the two videos.. not much though..

girl version ---^
boy version ---v

teaser: this is hot!

a lot of things.

fucked up my day.

and..

a lot of things, made those fucked up moments better. I'm thankful for those few reasons..

my day:
musicianship - fine.OK
pop/rock - fine at least I played..sucked..fucked.
sight reading - fine..ok.
math - sucked.boring.
work - fine..OK.smile of the day.
after 5pm - fine
after 7.30pm - sucked..big time.fucked.
after 10 - fine.whatever.


i want love. give me love.

Inspired with sleeping and with butterflies

TORI AMOS - Sleeps With Butterflies

Airplanes
Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy

Balloons
Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere

I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy


...

I just wanna sleep so bad right now.. but school work (GED) sucks.

blinded by the lights

inspired by the blinding lights of the bulbs.. I have always dreamed of a field of light bulbs scene.. for an occassion.. my birthday, a special event, or maybe my wedding? hahaha so much to dream about but hey! I want to dream about those things sometimes.. still a girl anyway I guess? hehehe..

fantastic stuffs i got from the net :)



I really love this one :) ^



this one looks ok.. ^



i just think this is cute and colorful.. I prefer the white / yellow ones though :P


thanks flickr.com :)